One of the guys they interviewed, really struck a nerve with me. Were his actions contradicting themselves to his kids? Was the one possible lesson being taught, getting voided out by the actions he was using? You could go round and round with all of it. And my mind did. And then Brian and I did, discussing it. I am very curious what your take on it will be. PLEASE leave me in-put letting me know it!
[ Reminder about posting comments on our blog, for those of you whom don't have blogs or google accounts of your own - after you type in your comment, you need to click on the bar underneath it, which reads "comment as" and then click on "anonymous". Then click on the "Post comment" button.]
The man in line had already been in line for over twelve (12) hours. He said that he was a father of six (6), and couldn't usually afford the items his kids wanted and was hoping to be able to get them via the 'Black Friday' specials. So yes, he had missed having Thanksgiving dinner with his family. Oh, and it was also his birthday.
- - One perspective. By not having Thanksgiving dinner (which is all about getting together with those you love and expressing your thankfulness for so many blessings, etc.) with his family, he was demonstrating that the 'things' he was hoping to buy them, were more important than spending time with them.
- - Another angle. He was showing them that sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get the things you want in life.
- - And another slant. Their desires in life were more important to him, than having others celebrate his birthday with him.
- - And yet another angle. Was he giving credit to society's view, that the 'things' you can acquire in life, is what's important?
My take on the whole thing? He lost my vote for the 'Father of the year' award. Doing things WITH your kids (and grand kids), is by far the best thing a parent (or grand parent) can give to a child (no matter how old your child becomes!).
You can not put a price tag on love exchanged through laughter, or looks, or hugs. Those type of moments, build far better relationships. And those type of relationships, are worth far more than any store bought gift could ever hope to increase to. True, the relationship will never wow the experts on Antiques Road Show by being their biggest find ever. But the warm fuzzes and inner security, etc. that those type of relationships contain, will make your life far more enjoyable and bearable than that type of a '"treasure" ever could.
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I 'plan' on linking this particular posting up to:~ "Homemaker Mondays ... Yours, Mine & Ours", are hosted by Jen, at '11th Heaven's Homemaking Haven' (http://rtheyallyours.blogspot.com/).
~ "Making Your Home Sing Monday('s)", are hosted by Nan, at 'Mom's the Word (I love to hear)' (http://momstheword--livingforhim.blogspot.com/).
Recently I asked my 5 children: " What motivated you to become the persons you are today?" One of the answers I received was: "We knew there were limits of what we could have and do." They may not have liked this at the time but as an adult the answer was given as proof of making them a better person. I think this father was trying to gain the respect of his children by giving in to their desire to have whatever is the popular toy this year. His Children may be very happy on Christmas morning. I hope the rest of the year he has more meaningful ways of showing them what a joy it is to be their father.
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ReplyDelete^^^^ Agreed! This is a terrible blog, not about the spirit of children, breaks my heart to read. I volunteer at the Toys for Tots annually and this is to create the magic for families who cannot afford a Christmas. There is nothing wrong at all with this.
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ReplyDelete- - One perspective. By not having Thanksgiving dinner (which is all about getting together with those you love and expressing your thankfulness for so many blessings, etc.) with his family, he was demonstrating that the 'things' he was hoping to buy them, were more important than spending time with them.
ReplyDeleteWhile Thanksgiving is a national holiday and meant to be spent with family, not every family has the same traditions. Perhaps he, along with countless other parents, participates in Black Friday events each year. Surely he is not the only parent who stands in line for extreme amounts of time. I think that dedication, especially considering that it was his birthday, shows how much he wanted to ensure that Christmas would be special for his children.
Another angle. He was showing them that sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get the things you want in life.
Agreed, and I think this is a fantastic lesson for any child to learn. I would hope any parent would have enough care for their children to try to do anything they could to give them a great Christmas. This lesson in sacrifice can also transfer to other areas of life where it is just as important if not more important.
And another slant. Their desires in life were more important to him, than having others celebrate his birthday with him.
I see nothing wrong with a parent putting his children before himself/herself. In fact, I think its a key part of being a good parent. Caring and providing for your children under any circumstance.
WOW! I'm disgusted at the comments! I can totally relate to the original poster! Growing up, it was just my mom - we didn't have a lot of money, but my mom made SURE that we spent time together! And now that I have my own family... Christmas is about CHRIST and his birth... NOT ABOUT PRESENTS, but about PRESENCE! We make sure we have time for family during the holidays... not that we give the best and biggest gifts! I would NEVER go back and change a thing! BTW - the original poster was giving both sides and stating a final opinion - definitely NOTHING worth namecalling!
ReplyDeleteBTW - The father did what he wanted to do... good or bad. Maybe they celebrate the holidays on a different day, our family has been known to do that on many occasions because of conflicting work schedules ;)
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ReplyDeleteHmmm so does that make your family bad for putting work in front of holidays? I think not. I think none of us have the right to judge this man. We don't know his family, his story, or his situation. Obviously whatever it may be it is a tough one and I praise his efforts. Let's be grown ups and not gossip about other people's lives. We have no right to judge what we do not know.
ReplyDeleteI can't think of any thing advertised this year that would be worth standing in line for 12+ hours, at least for my home. If it is that important to the needs of the family, what about the whole family be there, experinceing the day together. The kids would have a little more apreciation for the gifts/products/whatever, and they could have a picnic type lunch/dinner and still get the material things they desire. Think of the stories to be told years later!
ReplyDeleteI personaly would not spend that much time in the line!
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ReplyDeleteThats totally cool that Christmas emphasis is placed on family an presence in your family. Some other people who celebrate may not believe in god, or maybe a family member wanted an expensive gift (such as an iPad which I believe runs around 850$ for the largest size). Waiting in line for a discount on an item like that is, to most peoole, worth the effort and time. I think that the original poster, and every poster, is entitled to their own opinion. If she thinks it's wrong for this man or any parent to wait in line instead of spending time with family, that's her opinion and she is absolutely entitled to it. While I can't speak for the other anonymous poster, my main issue with this post is how judgemental it is. It is not anyone's place to say how a family should or should not spend the holidays. It is not her place to insinuate that this man is a bad father or has his priorities out of line because he chose to spend the night in line for his children. My mother stood outside for me and my siblings many times on black Friday and I always appreciated what she did. And as for having the children stand with the parent, while I think that is good in theory, I under no circumstance would allow my child to do such a thing. I would not want my child in that chaotic line or store. Anything could happen, I honestly think that is negligent and poor judgement. An adult can handle that, a child cannot. Also, since I can see youre most likely a more 'Christmas is about god' type of poster, I will remind you of Luke 6:37, "Judge not and you will not be judged; condemn not and you will not be condemned; Forgive, and you will be forgiven." I think it is very ignorant of anyone to judge this man for standing in line for his children. He did what he thought was best for his children. At least he cares enough to raise them and try his best to provide them a memorable Christmas. Material items don't make life worth more, but they make life more enjoyable. If he has six children and needs to do black Friday sales to provide gifts, these kids probably aren't getting much more than the necessities year round. Why not make christmas a great day with presents that they otherwise would not get, even on their birthdays? Unless your family is perfect, I think it is uncalled for to pass judgement the way the original poster did.
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ReplyDeleteOh my goodness!!! I can not believe the ruckus this posting has raised!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, while we do allow people to comment under 'Anonymous', we ask that they leave us their name. We offer the option to use the 'anonymous' choice so that our family and friends whom do not have google accounts or blogs of their own, can participate on our blog. I know lots of other bloggers whom have had to delete this option. Now I know why.
Secondly, I am choosing to not comment on each and every 'anonymous' comment individually. Instead, I'll over view them this way - swearing in your comments, as well as name calling, will get your comments deleted. PERIOD!
Thirdly - I asked for your views about this guys choices / actions. That shows that I realize different people look at things in life differently. It is my blog, so thus I can post my own personal views. You are both welcome and encouraged to start your own blog and do likewise.
Fourthly -
nope, I'll just leave it at the above.
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ReplyDeleteHi. My name is Jennifer. I quoted you and the bible. It doesn't count as acknowledging other view points if you say the other viewpoint is wrong.
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ReplyDeleteI think that was a choice made between that man and possibly his wife. This was a choice made intentionally and he is the one who lives with the consequences of those choices. As do we all. It doesn't make him a "bad" person because he made that choice. It makes him a human being. We all want to see our children smile and would walk through fire for them. I do not know one person, rich, poor or otherwise who wouldn't. While money does not buy happiness it does make our lives a little easier. The problem with a small news clip is that it only gives you a chance at a mere second of someone's circumstance. Instead of passing judgement how about a little compassion or empathy that the only way he felt he could look like a strong loving father was by buying into the commercialism that bombards our children daily.
ReplyDeleteJen
Jen, your comment was beautiful!
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ReplyDeleteI personally feel this is a blog from a very sad human being
ReplyDeleteI find it interesting that people are affended by the origenal post because the writer "judges" this father by stating the writer's opinion, YET the readers seem to have no
ReplyDeleteproblem with calling the writer names, insulting their family, bashing religion, and harshly judging them!?! WHO is being the offensive one here? Why the extreme anger? Is it pressing a nerve?
Not every anonymous post does though. None of my posts (where I quoted the original poster, I quoted the bible and I stated my name) really mention the poster or her family directly. In fact, I actually stated that I thought every poster, including the oringal one, was entitled to their opinions, because I believe that. The post asks for other opinions and viewpoints. That is all I did, offer another viewpoint. She mentioned a few key points and I responded to most of them. I even stated that I agreed with parts of what she posted, just not all of it. I did mention religion, but I did not do it offensively. I quoted the bible, but did not say that the bible is an inarrucate accumulation of stories supposidely from god. I did not say people were wrong for believing in and living by the teachings and passages in the bible. I do not believe I brought up religion in any offensive way. If you disagree, please tell me. If a discussion about a topic is too much, perhaps a discussion shouldn't be requested. I think it is unfair to blame people for things that they did not do and I was not harsh by any means. I simply stated my viewpoint. Having people judged for no reason, as the man on the news was, does press a button with me. He was just providing a Christmas for his family, why say that he has the wrong priorities and emphasis on things in life? I think it is wrong to judge without knowing. Even if you've met the person, I think it is unfair to assume things, blame people for things or speak of them, their actions or their situation when you don't know anything about it.
ReplyDeleteBtw, it's 'offended' not 'affended' :).
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ReplyDeleteWow, that it a hard question. But yes, I definitely agree that spending time with your family should be more important than buying things! Unless he was really really poor, and was actually buying them household staples and underwear to save significant money...
ReplyDeleteI actually came by here to ask you a question: do you remember Mary's Window Views... and Doors, Too meme? I really miss it, and I'm thinking of starting up a new, similar one. Would you be interested in participating?
Feel free to leave a comment on my blog - I just proposed the idea, here: http://iwishiwereaphotographer.blogspot.com/2011/11/shadow-shot-windchimes-and-question.html
I'd love to have you on board!
I hope you don't mind me writing to you in the comments like this, but I couldn't find a contact email for you.
All the best,
-toby
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ReplyDeleteCheryl is bea-utiful :)
ReplyDeletefrom my Aunt Darlene - "Due to major issues with this computer, I will comment here. The memories the whole family could of had at home was lost to things that may be wanted right then but would no way last as long as the wonderful memories of staying at home."
ReplyDeleteYou're wrong
ReplyDeleteUnless someone heard that the family missed out on memories or that they are upset about him not being there. While I'm sure that they would have liked him to be at dinner, it's wrong to assume that he did something wrong because he wasn't there. A lot of families make their Black Friday decisions together. None of you know anything about this family or their situation other than that the father waited in line, that their are six children and that they struggle to provide a Christmas for them. Why is it right to judge them? I see that everyone has a lot to say but everyone also keeps ignoring this point that I continually bring up- Why is it right for anyone to judge a father? I saw that your son has two children, would you appreciate it if people judged him and his actions as a father without knowing anything about him or his family? I think not. I'm sure he, along with every other father, has made mistakes along the way. It is impossible not to. But would you want people saying that he is a bad father for working long hours instead of being at home with his kids? Would you want people saying he doesn't havethe right priorities if he stood in line for them to provide a Christmas when he had no other way to? You all act like it's no big deal to say this man is a bad person, but you're talking about an actual person. Do you think those children would appreciate having total strangers saying all of this about their father? Those are not your memories or your family to judge. If they're ok with their dad standing in line, why aren't you? His actions have zero effect on your life.
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